Christmas Lights in Japan

Most Japanese aren’t Christian, but that doesn’t mean they don’t celebrate Christmas. And no, no one is complaining about Christmas contributing to a war on O-Shogatsu, the traditional Japanese New Year and the major holiday of the years. More on that later.

Also later: store displays. Japan knows how to milk a consumer holiday for all it’s worth.

Even while it’s still momiji (leaf viewing) season, some people are already decorating the colorful leaves.

Throughout Kyoto there are displays galore. Here are just a few:

Colonel Sanders All Dressed UP

The Curse of Colonel Sanders

We all know about the curse of the Bambino: The Boston Red Sox traded Babe Ruth to the New York Yankees in the 1919-1920 season. The Sox didn’t win another World Series until 2004.

The Yomiuri Giants of Tokyo are the Yankees to the Tigers’ Red Sox. And KFC’s Colonel Sanders is the Tigers’ Babe Ruth.

In 1985, the Tigers finally won the Japan series. (I was in the area but not in the stadium to see the game. Good luck getting tickets for that one.) To celebrate hoards of Tigers fan(atics) headed for Ebisubashi, a bridge in downtown Osaka. There they chanted each player’s theme song, while that player’s lookalike  jumped into the Dotonburi River.

But then they got to Randy Bass, the team’s American star slugger, Triple Crown winner, and Japan Series MVP. Where was the crowd going to find a lookalike for the bearded, 220-pounds, and 6’1” Randy Bass? And then they did, just down the street: a life-size statue of KFC’s Colonel Sanders. They toppled the statue and sent the Colonel into the river.

Supremely honest, Japanese fans who have camped out overnight for general admission tickets enter the stadium at 11 am for a 6 pm game. To claim their spots in the bleachers, fans tape a newspaper page on their desired spot and write their name on the tape. Then they leave. Nobody EVER takes a marked seat. So it wasn’t long before those crazed but honest fans realized what they had done. They apologized to the store manager and promised to pull the Colonel out of the river and return him to his rightful place.

But by morning the Colonel was gone. The river was dragged. No sign of the Colonel. And then began an 18-year losing streak. The Curse the Colonel. Fans repeatedly begged forgiveness and offered gifts to statues all over town, but the curse remained.

Then in 2003 it seemed as if the Colonel had forgiven the Tigers. The team returned to the Japan Series. KFCs in Kobe and Osaka hid their Colonel Sanders statues inside their stores until the Series was over. But the curse still remained. The Fukuoka Hawks beat the Tigers in a 7-game series.

Fast forward to March 10, 2009. A diver found the top half of the statue, minus hands, legs and glasses. The following day he found both legs and the right hand. The refurbished statue, minus right hand and glasses now stands at a KFC across the street from Koshien Stadium.

Still the Hanshin Tigers languish, however, and many think the Tigers won’t win a Japan Series again until they find the lost hand and glasses.

But the fans remain devoted, even fanatic. The Hanshin department store devotes half a floor to the always-busy Tigers store, where every day during the season nine cashiers keep busy selling shirts, sweats, pajamas, keychains, plastic bats, flags, and every other item you can imagine. Each week more than 50,000 fans pour into the stadium, hoping against hope that Colonel Sanders will finally forgive them, just as the Bambino has forgiven Boston.

Japan’s Newest Burger

My friend Jan and I often go to Ted’s at Aspen Grove for huge, delicious beef and buffalo burgers. However, I think the Japanese burger chain Lotteria has Ted’s beat in the huge department. Fast food chain Lotteria’s latest burger is already topped with everything and customers can even add extras.

Here’s what goes into Lotteria’s everything burger:

• Regular beef patty
• Beef patty with cheese
• Shrimp cutlet
• Rib patty
• Bacon
• Sliced cheese
• Spicy mayonnaise
• Regular mayonnaise
• Tartar sauce
• Ketchup
• Teriyaki sauce
• One soft-boiled egg
• Cabbage
• Lettuce
• Pickles

Talk about overkill. Cost: Y1130, about $11.25. And customers can specify the order in which want the ingredients stacked.

I think I’ll pass, thank you. I’ll just wait till I get home to head to Ted’s with Jan.

Related articles

• Lotteria Introduces Bizarre “Bacon Cube” Burger (tokyodesu.com)

Oh, Those Japanese Toilets

About Japanese Toilets

Japanese toilets run the gamut from flushable holes in the ground (like the one I had to use the other day to provide a specimen for a medical screening) to singing, heated, deodorizing, behind-washing marvels that make TP all but unnecessary.

Sometimes toilet controls will be labeled in English along with the Japanese, but many of them don’t. And the control panels appear in different forms as well, so icons vary by model.

As anywhere else in the world, men don’t worry so much, but Japanese women especially don’t want anyone hear them do anything as gross as pee or poop. That’s what the music or white noise is for. Different toilets offer different sounds. Behind washers come with weak to strong water pressure. There are different buttons for men and for women. Different plumbing, different squirts. You press the red button to stop the spray or get everything within feet of the toilet wet. Some models even offer a dry function.

Then it’s time to flush. Almost all Japanese toilets have two flushes: one small (to save water) and one big for when saving water is not your top priority. The small flush doesn’t work on the toilet in my apartment, so I’ll find out soon how much higher my water bill is going to be than my neighbors, who have working big flushes.

As you step away from the toilet, some of the most modern lower the lid for you and then open the lid for  the next person who approaches.

Since the 80s, when sit down toilets began to become popular, there have been instructions on  how to use the toilets. Here is the original set of instructions still on my toilet paper dispenser since the 1980s, when this apartment was built:

Nowadays some of the older toilets still have instructions in English, like this one I saw in a department store recently.

Only in Japan: Donuts and Matches

 

The new lineup of donuts for Christmas at Mr. Donut. For Halloween they had Hello Kitty donuts.

Aren’t these matches sweet? But could you really set a little panda on fire? Not me.

Huh?

I came home from school to find this piece of paper inside my entry. Okay, so it’s from the Post Office, but what is it? Who’s sending me a package that couldn’t be delivered? Turns out it was from the Post Office itself. The PO Bank was sending my new cash card and they wanted to put it in my hand.

I went on the Net and told them to bring it by between 5 and 7 p.m. that same day. Sure enough a mailwoman rang my doorbell and put my new card in my hand in exchange for my signature. Nice service.

The New House Is Going Up Fast

Japanese Prison Food

http://en.rocketnews24.com/2013/06/04/ever-wondered-what-japanese-prison-food-tastes-like-try-it-firsthand-at-the-prison-cafeteria/

I Wonder What the New House Will Look Like

Here are a few examples of modern Kyoto eel beds. They look like they are only wide enough for one car.  I’ll keep you posted on the new house down the street.